Hi Amigos!
Welcome back to another episode of the podcast!
Jess Mora is an NYC-based entrepreneur and author. She has been an advocate for first-generation, low-income, and/or students of color for 6 years helping students feel empowered in their educational journey. This passion culminated in her writing a book, Spread Your Wings and FLI: How to Effectively Navigate College as a First-Generation, Low-Income Student. She currently sits on the Alumni Board of High Jump Chicago, an education-focused nonprofit and on the Alumni Board of Directors at The Latin School of Chicago. Currently Jess is a part-time content creator, speaker, and soon-to-be podcast host. When she is not pursuing her business endeavors, Jessica can be spotted doing acrobatics at the beach, doing yoga, or playing on a local basketball team.
We talk about all kinds of things such as: writing her own book, how she prepares her mindset as a creative, moving to NYC from Chicago and much more!
TAKE AWAYS:
Focus on one part at a time
Small changes do add up
Make friends by going to places you love, chances are they also have the same values as you
Life doesnt happen to you, it happens for you
Life isn’t going to go your way everyday, but what if you look for the opportunity?
As a creator, some things will go really well and some of those things will not go as we expected, that’s normal!
Are you really going to be held back by your fears or are you going to trust that something out there will catch you?
You can get started any day so why not get started today?
Celebrate the little wins along the journey
LINKS:
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:
[00:00:00] Drea: Lead us through the journey.
[00:00:00] Jess: Yeah. I actually feel like, just my role in the first gen student broader educational space happened very organically. when I was in middle school, I was a part of an enrichment program, where basically I was going to school on Saturdays, during the school year and during the summer for five weeks, Monday through Friday.
[00:00:20] Jess: And so it was like there that I like, I think started grasping a little bit about like disparities in education of Oh, this just feels very different from like my public school. Like classes are a lot smaller. teachers just have a lot more time to pay attention to each student. and so from there, I think that sparked the seed a little bit of.
what's going on here? I think at that point I had more questions and answers. and I think that curiosity has followed me like through high school and college, and eventually taking up leadership roles in those spaces to try to, both investigate some of those questions that I had, but also as I'm finding some of the answers and also going through my own experience kind.
[00:01:00] Jess: Help the people that are coming after me. oh, actually, like I tried doing that thing and it didn't work out, but like I realized that if you like ask this person or go through this center, you're gonna get through things a lot quicker. so that's how everything started shaping up.
How everything started happening. And eventually it culminated in, in me writing a book about it. Cause I'm like, I'm already so passionate about it. I've been thinking about this for so many years. Like, why not actually put it on paper? And how long
[00:01:26] Drea: did it take you to write the book?
[00:01:28] Jess: Not very long. I started writing, June of 2020, and then it published April of 2021. So that's so soon . Yeah. I wouldn't have done it if we hadn't gone through a pandemic because I was just like at home all the time and I think everyone else was at home all the time. So I was like hopping on phone calls, meetings, writing, just cuz I had so much time on my hands.
[00:01:54] Drea: Wow. And what was that process like when you started writing the book? Was there any moment? Cause I feel like something we talk about a lot on the podcast is that mindset shift you have to have when you're going for something that you really wanna do. And you really love that mindset shift of maybe some people think that's not possible cuz of your age or because of where you come from or because of what you've been doing already for so many years.
[00:02:17] Drea: So was there ever a moment when you were writing this book and going for this dream? that you felt I wanna give up, or this is too hard, or I don't know what
[00:02:27] Jess: I'm doing. . Yeah, so it's actually a very interesting story in that I don't think I've shared the origin of this story anywhere else, but in 2018, I was dating someone during college and, one of their gifts, I think it was for Valentine's Day was a little like booklet that they had painted and they'd asked me a bunch of questions that I could then go back and fill in an answer.
[00:02:50] Jess: And one of those questions was your bucket list of like life items or whatnot. And I remember like looking at that page and being like, Huh, it would be cool to write a book one day. But I didn't really think about it cause I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna write on. I don't even know how to publish a book.
[00:03:06] Jess: And I was like, I think it would be cool. So I literally wrote it down and like this gift that, that I'd gotten, in 2018 and then didn't think about it again. . And then in 2020 as I was finishing up my thesis and I, like a professor at Georgetown reached out to me being like, Hey, I'm running this book writing course.
[00:03:24] Jess: Do you wanna do it? initially when he reached out, I was like, No, cause I was like, I don't think this is like a good time. so I like put it off and then he reached out again a few months later and it was right when I had actually finished my thesis and I was like, You know what? I feel like I still have a lot left to say on this topic.
so I said, yes. But the interesting part is, even though I had said yes, I had signed up for the program, I think they had us put in like a deposit or something to hold our spot. I still didn't want to tell people because for me it was like once I started telling people, then it was real. And honestly at that point in June, 2020, I wasn't sure that I could.
[00:04:01] Jess: A book, even though I knew it was something that was on my bucket list, something that would be super cool to do, I just, I was like, what if something happens? And I don't end up finishing and then I have to tell people, never mind. It's not happening. so I think that was the biggest shift for me to overcome is to just be like, whether it actually happens or not.
just feel confident in the phase that you're currently in right now and push through it. You're not gonna see the end goal from where you stand today. Just get through, like this one chapter, get through this one part. and I think the more I just focus on those like.
[00:04:35] Jess: Shorter goals, the more I felt a little bit more comfortable. and at the end, what I ended up doing is like just bringing people along my journey of this is where I'm at. I just interviewed this one person, or I just finished this one chapter on this. Or sharing my like, table of contents.
I think that was a big moment for me. Just like when I even felt comfortable and sure enough, of myself to actually share it publicly.
[00:04:55] Drea: I can relate to that so much because it was the same thing that happened to me when I was starting this podcast. It was should I even tell people that this is what I wanna do?
[00:05:03] Drea: I don't even know if I can do this. I don't. I don't even know if I'm good at this. But it's like you said, taking the small little steps, I think. Is what really helped me. It's what's helped me with pretty much everything I've started. and that's, what we talk a lot about here on the podcast is like everyone that has come on this pod and has talked about their journey has said that I just went little by little.
[00:05:22] Drea: I just did certain things I knew could take me the step closer that I needed to get to that place, to my dream or to that goal. So I love what you said, that you also have to do things messy and just have faith that whatever it is that you're doing in this moment has a bigger
[00:05:40] Jess: outcome later on.
[00:05:41] Jess: Yeah, it comes back to one of my favorite things of you don't have to know, you don't have to know where you're going from, where you stand today. I think. , that can be really reassuring for me, especially when I can't see like the ends destination. Like when I don't feel like it's in sight, but I'm like, I don't have to know what or where that point is for me to take those steps today.
[00:06:04] Jess: And Cause I think back to like internships I've had, or even like moving to New York, for example, a year ago, like it wasn't even on my radar like a year ago. I was just , I don't know, like journaling, like trying to do scripting and manifesting and being like just following the things that make me feel good.
and I realized in the end those little blocks build up and you end up like, I don't know, a year from now doing something that you were like, Oh my gosh. Like I would've never thought that's where I would end up. so those small changes really do add up.
[00:06:32] Drea: Yeah. And it's crazy cuz you were saying how you wrote it down years ago, but you never thought of.
[00:06:38] Drea: and I am such a believer in the power of writing. I journal every single day and I just think that there's something to it. there's something to writing down what you want and going for that, and that coming to life because it's of like you setting. Something in stone, almost like it's just something like your body knows that you're writing it, so you must want it so badly that you're gonna do the things you need to do to get there.
[00:07:04] Drea: And you just talked about you're moving to New York, which I wanted to bring up because I think It takes guts, like I've moved from Miami to la, then LA to Madrid, and it takes guts every time you move. It's a different place, different people, different customs, different everyday activities, different, everything you ha just changes.
[00:07:25] Drea: So I would love for you to talk a little bit about what that was like for you making the decision to move from Chicago to New York.
[00:07:32] Jess: So I think the decision itself happened naturally it, I'd never been to New York, a year ago and I came over to visit a friend, last October, and then I just kept coming back, to get away from Chicago to go to a networking event.
[00:07:47] Jess: And it was then that I was like, there's obviously something here that's pulling me back into the city. Why not actually move there? and it like, lined up really well with my lease ending. So I think that the, like making the decision itself felt like natural and it felt easy, but I. Everything else leading up to it was what was most challenging.
[00:08:07] Jess: Chicago is where my entire family is. Like parents, grandparents, extended family, aunts, cousins, uncles, everyone is in Chicago. And so leading that behind, especially just before summer, which I feel like is when all the big family gatherings and barbecues and everything's happening, I've definitely experienced like a little bit of Fomo. Just like this summer watching all my cousins get together and go to like baby showers and all that kind of stuff. so that definitely tugs at my heart a little bit, when it came time to actually fly to New York. but I knew it was gonna be something that was going to take me out of my comfort zone.
[00:08:43] Jess: Something that, I was going to have to. Figure out who I am in a new space, what makes me happy in a new space, and how I build a support system for myself. cause I think in Chicago, at least for me, it was really easy to fall back on, My default support system, like friends that I've known since middle school family that I've had forever.
[00:09:03] Jess: And I think I'm really lucky to have that. but I'm like, who am I really? When I'm the person building myself up, choosing what I do on a day to day. what are my habits like? what do I seek out to do for fun? And it's really weird because even though it's only been a few months, I feel like I'm a completely different person in New York than I was in Chicago.
[00:09:23] Jess: So it's definitely paying off, but it has not been an easy journey. Some days I'm like, just like laying in bed, like I wish I had plans and It's just like one of those like slower days. cause like I don't have family just be like, Hey, can I go over and just have dinner with you guys?
so those things are definitely tricky and hard, but it's been really rewarding thus far as well.
[00:09:41] Drea: Totally understand that. It is just almost like flexing a new muscle. you go into a new city being alone for the first time maybe, or like just being around different people. It just makes you.
[00:09:54] Drea: Become a different person. It just makes you think of things in different way and use different parts of your brain and the way that you act and the way that you are. It just opens up this whole other part of you. So I definitely relate, and I think that it really creates almost like a definite new chapter, like you moving somewhere is it's so new that it's like a blank slate and that has pros and cons like you were. I love what you said about it being something that was hard, almost like leading up to it. Not so much the moving, because that's so true. It's almost like you thinking of everything you have to do that, to get there and it's, it's a lot of work and it's a lot of anxiety and a lot of, calls back and forth organizing and then when you actually.
[00:10:43] Drea: The other part of it comes where it's like, Okay, I now moved and now I need to furnish my apartment. I need to meet new people. And I think something that not all people talk about, which I'm super passionate about, is this topic of how hard it is to make new friends when you're older. . And we've talked about this before on a connect call we had earlier, but it's so true.
[00:11:06] Drea: It's so hard to make friends when you're older. So what have you been doing lately in a new city that has helped you branch out and make new friends or make new connect
[00:11:16] Jess: connections? Yeah. I think what for me came up first and okay, if I wanna make friends the way I do that is , Being a regular in certain spaces or finding community.
so I've tried to do that in a variety of ways. Some work better than others. first I like joined a yoga studio and I was like, Okay, I will show up at the yoga studio regularly and start seeing a lot of the same people. the downfall to that is that people don't really talk. During yoga or before or after.
[00:11:46] Jess: So I was not very successful in finding friends at my yoga studio. They're all great people, but we just, it doesn't really lend itself to forming those connections. I think another way that I've been trying to just seek out people has been by going into the office. I work fully remotely, but we do have an office in New York and Some days when we have food in the office or happy hours or like workout classes, I will go to those just to start seeing some of the same people, getting to know more of my coworkers.
so that's I think, been the thing I've had the most success with, this summer and a recent endeavor has been for me to join a basketball team just to start seeing a lot of the same. People. I know, like I knew probably two or three people on the team going into it, but everyone else was new.
[00:12:35] Jess: And so I think that's been a really cool way because depending on who shows up to the practices or the games, I'm getting to know a new person. Some of those people have been in New York for two or three years. Some of those people have been in New York for four to five years. And so it's a great way just to get to know them.
[00:12:50] Jess: But also like then like they have friends that they'll sometimes , Bring, or Two days ago we had a movie night at one of the teammates, one of our teammates house. And so it was also just a great way that was more casual. Like we weren't playing or like on the court or anything, just getting to catch up, meet new people, So I think that has also been a really rewarding part and I'm like really thankful for kind of my two initial friends on the basketball team who brought me into that group of friends.
cause I think it's been a really great support system even though it's like the season literally just started two weeks ago. I think it's become one of my favorite things. this fall.
[00:13:22] Drea: Having something in common is so helpful. I heard someone say once, I think it was a friend of mine who I was asking her at the time when I was single. I was asking her for relationship advice on like, where do you find guys Where is it that the guys go hang the ones that I wanna go hang with?
[00:13:39] Drea: And she said something that I have, I've always thought of, even with friendships, where she was saying, Where would you wanna go hang out during the. And I kept saying coffee shops or bookstores or I love mini concerts and like all these different things. And she said, So go there. Go there more and try to connect with people there more because.
if you wanna meet a guy or if you wanna meet a friend and you're in a place where they went to willingly themselves, then that's something that you guys have in common. And that's probably something that you guys would do anyway when you start the relationship or when you have the friendship.
[00:14:15] Drea: And when she said that, I was like, It's so easy. That is such an easy little thing. But you don't think about that. You're always like, Oh, I have to go out every night, or I have to, go to all these hangs. And it's if you don't like that, Then maybe you should try going somewhere where you do like to meet people there that
[00:14:30] Jess: like the same.
[00:14:32] Jess: Absolutely. And I think, more often than not, like when you do go to those spaces, yeah, you have that initial thing in common, but if you're both frequenting that same I don't know, workout studio, coffee shop, chances are you also have Similar values in other ways. Like maybe if you are, both going to the same workout class every Wednesday, like it shows that you're like both really into self care.
[00:14:54] Jess: You like carve out the time, in your busy schedule to really take care of yourselves. Maybe that means you're also into, Mindfulness and just taking reset days during the week and not falling a trap to like the hustle muscle of everyday life. So I think it, that's one similarity where you instantly click, but I think you can very quickly realize Oh wait, because we're both here at this time in this place, it probably means that there are other kind of factors playing into like why we are similar in those ways.
[00:15:24] Jess: Yeah, for sure. I
[00:15:24] Drea: think the hardest part is going up to someone and being like, It seems like you and I like the same things.
[00:15:31] Jess: 100% .
[00:15:33] Drea: There was, there was something you said before that when you were writing your book, that you were saying how you were taking the step by step process and regardless of either if it's your book or you moving to New York or the way that you're living now, like just your everyday routine now.
[00:15:50] Drea: In your everyday routine, do you feel like there's something specific you do that helps you get into this mindset of giving it your, all that day, getting creative and going for the things that you have been trying to accomplish or just get closer to every day?
[00:16:07] Jess: . I am very big on affirmations, so I try to incorporate that into my everyday routine. I wake up every day, obviously intending to have a good day and sometimes it happens and sometimes it does not. and this is definitely easier said than done, and I do not get it right every time, but it's.
[00:16:24] Jess: Kind of the certainty or just knowing life doesn't happen. Like to me, it happens for me. Life is not gonna go your way every day. And that's a part of the journey. But if you take every kind of hiccup or every bump as an opportunity of what was I supposed to learn from this?
was it, was I taking it too quickly? Was, I actually meant to be stuck in traffic so that I could be inspired by the person just waiting for the light to turn screen. And that, I'll give an example. one day I was like, Okay, I'm going to have the best day ever.
[00:16:56] Jess: I'm gonna go like cook to basketball practice. I'm gonna go get acupuncture. It's gonna be such a relaxing day. And then I got to basketball practice. Basketball practice went well. And then the train that I was supposed to take to get to my acupuncture, appoint. Just never showed up. so I was like, Okay, I wanna run late.
[00:17:14] Jess: Like I would just call an Uber. So I called an Uber and there were two girls standing next to me who were also talking about how like they were gonna be late to something. And I overheard that we were more or less heading to the same direction. And I was like, Hey, I just called an Uber.
[00:17:28] Jess: I'm like gonna be late to an appointment if you just wanna hop in an Uber. With me. and they were like, Okay, yeah, like I'm not gonna wait for this train. So me and these two girls who I had just met, hopped on the Uber, but there was a parade or something happening in Brooklyn, so the Uber couldn't get to the bridge to cross over to Manhattan, which is where we were trying to go.
[00:17:48] Jess: And so it drives around for 45 minutes and at the end it's just I'm not gonna get you to Manhattan. There's there's no way that this is gonna happen. So I couldn't make my appointment. I ended up getting charged a late fee, that he like dropped us off at a subway station so that then we could get on a different subway back into Manhattan.
[00:18:06] Jess: At that point I was , hungry, stressed, cuz I had to miss my appointment. mad cause I had to pay the late, class B. but also , I just spent. I don't know, like an hour and a half with two strangers. We were just talking about how long we'd been in New York, how crazy this experience was.
[00:18:23] Jess: Yes, in the moment, very stressful. Like not the day I imagined having. , but it just got me out there talking to two really cool girls, just making a random connection in New York City, which I feel like is very much like the spirit of the city.
so I think that's something that really helps me on a day to day. The intention can be there for everything to go exactly the way I planned for it to go. And, some days it'll happen and that's great and I will feel really happy and some days it'll be just, A huge bummer.
[00:18:51] Jess: Things won't go the way I want it to, but what am I supposed to take away from this? How is this supposed to help me in my book writing journey? In the moving process, in settling in New York, I've been trying to just take everything as a lesson and not become so frustrated on this wasn't the way I wanted it to go.
[00:19:10] Jess: Why is this happening? cause it can be really easy to. Spiral into that. so I think that's been one of the things that's been really helpful for me and in at least trying to move through the average day to day.
[00:19:20] Drea: it's an important shift to have in the mindset when things don't go your way.
[00:19:25] Drea: It definitely is a decision, right? It's very easy to go with the spiral once you start spiraling because it's like a domino effect. It's like one after the other, and then things just aren't going your way the whole day instead of what you did, which.
[00:19:40] Drea: So great. And it's looking at the silver lining, looking at what has worked and what was in your control instead of what wasn't. Cause those things we never have control over, right? Like missing the uber, missing the train, missing our appointments, et cetera. there's so many times that's happened to me where I'm like, this day did not go as planned , but at the end of the day, it's always okay.
[00:20:06] Drea: I'm always fine and the next day comes and it's a different whole experience. And I think that's something I, what you were saying I've taken away also, is just that every day is just 24 hours and the next day you will have another 24 hours to have a whole different experience, a whole different day.
[00:20:24] Drea: And it's up to us to decide what kind of day we want. So I think I, I love asking that question, or I loved asking you that question about what you do every day to get to that level. Creativity or mindset, Because I think as creatives, that's really important for us. We need to have something that balances us out because we could be working on our craft forever.
[00:20:49] Drea: And if we don't have that balance, if we don't have that kind of reminder to ourselves, we can really get lost in it. So I think it's important to.
[00:20:58] Jess: Absolutely, and I think talking about it on like the creator side of things. I think it just helps be a little bit more accepting and give ourselves grace when whether it's pushing out a product, a brand partnership, whatever it might be that we're putting out into the world.
[00:21:12] Jess: It's like some of those things will go really well and that's great and some of those things will not go as we expected, and that's okay. It doesn't mean that you're failing as a creator. It doesn't mean that like you can never do that thing again. Most, more likely than not, you just learn something from it.
[00:21:27] Jess: Like you learn actually this didn't work the way I thought it would let me pivot and try something else. but I think if we take every singular project that we push out so incredibly seriously that we're fixated on its success, we lose out a little bit on. Potential lessons learned there.
[00:21:42] Jess: Like of course, give it 100%, you're all on, like whatever it is that you do, but just know that you know whether it works out or not. It's not like it's saying something directly about your inherent worth, or whether or not you should keep doing this thing. It's like some things will go well, some things you know, won't go as well, but you're learning something from it.
[00:22:00] Jess: You've become a better creator because of. . Yeah. And that's why I always
[00:22:06] Drea: ask that one question when I ask two questions. Usually at the end of the podcast, you summed up the one of them, but I usually ask. What has been your biggest failure or loss so far, and what has been your biggest win or success?
[00:22:18] Drea: And I usually always ask those two questions because the failure one is never a failure. It's always a lesson. And every single person I've had on this podcast has rephrased it to be just that. And it just proves the point of failure does not exist. It's. Learning something to do things differently, to try new things, to try a different way.
[00:22:41] Drea: I love asking that question, so I'll ask you the other question, which is, what has been your biggest success or when, so far in your career
[00:22:48] Jess: or in your personal life? I would say I think my biggest success, Mostly in personal life, but I think it translates into professional life as well has been, taking up acrobatics.
I started that freshman year of college and, I was actually terrified of heights. I like, the reason I joined Acrobatics was because when I went to go visit, my college during perspective student weekend, I like saw an acrobatics show put on by, a club at the school. And I was like, That looks really hard.
[00:23:20] Jess: That looks also very scary. I want to do it, like I wanna figure out how to do it. and so when I actually started college, I like asked one of my friends who like lived in like the residence dorms with me and I was like, Hey, like there's a circus club on campus, would you want to maybe do it?
and he was like, Yeah, sure. Like I'll go for it. And I remember once, like we were trying different booths together and he had done cheerleading before, so he was like a little bit more comfortable than I was. And on one of the moves, he's Oh yeah, there's this move, it's called like too high, where I would basically be standing on his shoulders.
[00:23:54] Jess: And I was like, Okay, that doesn't sound too bad. I will stand on your shoulders and I'll hold onto the walls if I feel wobbly and whatnot. So I did it and I got onto his shoulders and I was like, Okay, cool. This was fun. can you put me down now? And he was like, You have to jump down.
[00:24:10] Jess: And I was like, What do you mean I have to jump down? I think he's like somewhere between those are like six feet tall. He's Yeah, you just have to jump. And I was like, What do you mean? And I was like, There's gotta be another way down. Jess, this is the only way.
if you wanna get down, you have to jump down. And I think like in that moment in my head, I was absolutely terrified cuz the idea of jumping off of this man's shoulders. Felt insane to me. I was like, Why did I get myself in a situation like I'm not doing this ever again? Like, why? Just you didn't ask enough questions.
but then at the end I was like, Okay, if there's literally no way down, I must jump and trust, in myself, trust in like the partner I was working with, that it's going to be okay. And so I. Jumped and I landed on my feet and everything was okay. And now looking back, that happened, I don't know, maybe six years ago.
[00:25:01] Jess: Looking back Remember when you couldn't jump down? I was like, Yeah, that felt like the most terrifying thing I've ever done. And now I do it all the time. So I think for me, acrobatics symbolizes that moment of feeling completely terrified of where you are and like about taking that next step, but also recognizing like it's now or never.
am I really going to be held back by my fears or am I just going to trust that something out there some way somehow is going to catch me and that I'm going to be okay? So I would, I'd definitely call that particular moment, just one of my biggest successes because I think that mindset shift has been incredibly helpful in everything else that I do.
[00:25:36] Jess: It's
[00:25:37] Drea: such a metaphor for life. It really is. And it's crazy that you brought that up because I was gonna go on my stories yesterday. I just got so late that I didn't, But I was gonna talk about something similar where I was going through. The podcast. Cause I've learned like certain things that have worked and haven't worked, and I had to go through the 60 episodes I've done and one by one edit this thing that I had, I didn't know I, I needed to put on every episode or change it up, I had to organize it.
[00:26:08] Drea: And when I started, I had no idea. So I didn't do that, And I had to go back one by one do this. And as I was doing, I started smiling because I realized that I was terrified of starting this podcast. The first episode I was , trembling and I'm 60 episodes in, and I was like, I didn't even know I needed to like, put this in the show notes or have this perfectly curated and I didn't even care.
[00:26:35] Drea: I didn't, I hadn't had it. Perfectly done when I started it. And now, It's like when you said someone caught me, like the show caught me and is showing me that I was able to do it and now I know how to do it and I can continue doing it in a way that is, is different. I enjoy it now.
[00:26:52] Drea: And it's the same thing that you went through. Just like jumping is now something you always do when you go to acrobats. It's It's just a metaphor for life. I think we always get so scared to start things or to do things we don't believe that we can, or we're scared of what, how it'll hurt us.
, instead, it's such a, it's such a moment to pivot. It's such a moment to transform into this new person that you can rely on, that you can become, that you can do these hard things. And I love your answer. It really reminded me of that.
[00:27:20] Jess: So thanks for sharing. Of course. Fear is something that like we build up for ourselves.
[00:27:27] Jess: Or even like seeing someone go through something and you're like, Oh, I don't wanna go like through that. Or getting hurt. You're like, I don't wanna get hurt again. Part of that is for safety and so definitely taking that into consideration. But I think another part of that is just.
[00:27:39] Jess: Our body's wanting to keep us quote unquote safe, whatever that means to ourselves. So when something feels scary, our body's Don't do it like, like something's not safe. We don't know like in our head what the exact outcome is gonna be. And so like better not to take that chance. It's a hard thing to do in practice. Like I think it's easy to be like, yeah, like fear holds a lot of people back from their biggest dreams from moving, from trying something new. But overcoming that fear has to be such a intentional thing because you have to recognize it in yourself and you have to be like, okay, even though this really truly scares me to my core, How do I start chipping at it to get to where I wanna go?
[00:28:23] Jess: And I think that's I think that's like what it comes down to. are you willing to at least work through it and take some of those steps? And I think it's very likely that on the other side of that is going to be something wonderful and great that you can't even imagine, cuz you're stuck in your fear right now.
[00:28:39] Drea: The most rewarding part of fear is when you overcome it. , when you look back and you realize, why was I even afraid? what was that thing that was holding me back? Why? And then you realize that you're fine, Everything worked out and it's usually the way it goes.
[00:28:54] Drea: You get scared, you don't take action. You keep waiting and waiting. Or, overthinking,wanting. And then, Once you actually just go for it. Fear first, just go for the thing you want. And you're on the other side. You look back and you're like, Why was I even waiting?
[00:29:11] Drea: Why was I wanting this and not going for it? Why was I just overthinking instead of taking this action that I knew would give me the result I wanted? And I have found that taking action through fear has given me more than what I knew I could. Or have, so an example with the show is just, I thought I would just have a podcast, but now this whole world opened up of self development and connecting with other people in the space.
[00:29:38] Drea: And I never thought that could be possible. I never thought that was something I wanted, nor could I get there. And now I'm here and it's if I had never done it, I would've never known.
[00:29:49] Drea: So I think it's something for people to think about who's listening to this podcast. If you have something you wanna go for, do not wait because you're gonna look back and see how far you've come. And it's better to try and know than never to try and
[00:30:02] Jess: never know. Yeah. and going off of that, like it's never too late to get started.
[00:30:08] Jess: I think never too late lot we're like, Oh, I should have done that two years ago, but because I didn't like, now I can't. It's nope, like you're here today. Like you are alive. You are like able to do it. Go for it. Or like just write it down or like research that thing on how to get started. Like we have so many resources just available to us.
you can get started any day, so why not do it today? . Yeah. And the
[00:30:34] Drea: whole premise of the show when I started it was to highlight young creative entrepreneurs that were doing what they wanted to do, regardless of what people told 'em, like they were too young to do. . And I think it's the same thing for what you said.
[00:30:47] Drea: It's never too late. Even if you are older, even if you are in your fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties, I don't know, 30 forties, like it doesn't matter what age you are. Just go for it. what do you have to lose? And you can always reinvent yourself. You can always learn, you can always pivot, but just taking that action gives you yourself the belief that you're able to do the things you want to do
[00:31:08] Jess: and you figure it out as you go along.
[00:31:10] Jess: Absolutely. Once you're on that role, it's easier to keep that momentum going and it's easier to, the people you'll meet along the way and you know the support systems you'll build.
[00:31:20] Jess: And even if the people who initially were like, You're too young or you're too old, or you're not experienced enough, I think you'll find out as you're trying something new as you're becoming an entrepreneur, Who's really there for you and who's gonna step up to the plate and be like, Hey, I know it's not easy, but you've got this and if you need me, like I'm here, let me know how I can help.
and it's how that support system ends up finding you because they're like, Hey, you're out there and you're going out there and you're like killing it. Like I. You're motivating them too. Oh, I should also, is there something I've been wanting to try that I've been holding back?
[00:31:54] Jess: And I think that's how we give each other permission to dream big and to keep dream big is by ourselves just doing it, going for it. making the best of it. and I think it's like really beautiful what ends up coming out of it at the other side with the communities we end up forming.
[00:32:08] Drea: And to celebrate. The little things along the way I think really help with that journey, is celebrating like the one little win you had that day, like you said, like celebrating the fact that you opened up to the women that you shared the Uber with. Little things like that are big celebrations really throughout the journey because they give you more of that momentum.
[00:32:31] Drea: They give you more of that belief within yourself, like everything's okay, there's something I did today. Was good. And that in itself is something to highlight, Nourish, nurture. You know what I mean? It's like that's what it's all about, is just looking at the things that are working, really enjoying the journey because the destination, you just get there, You get there with all the hard work, but if you're not enjoying that journey while you get there, I don't know, like it just, it, I feel like that's what it's all about. And. , that's, the whole thing that people say with artists that win the awards after the day, they win it. They're like, what now?
[00:33:07] Drea: And it's what do you mean? like you just did a whole album, or you just did this whole project, with incredible people and just enjoying that so that when you get there, it's such a celebration of all the small little things you've overcome and the small little big wins you've had.
it just
[00:33:25] Jess: makes it all. It's really interesting because I feel like our entire lives were brought up to think about what's next and now, like how to work towards that next, in, in elementary school, it's all about Oh, what high school are you gonna go to in high school?
[00:33:39] Jess: What college are you gonna go to in college? It's what are you gonna major in? What are you gonna do after college? That I think we're not often taught how to just. Enjoy where we are. Like celebrate the wins of where we are without necessarily seeing it as like a step towards the next big thing.
[00:33:58] Jess: Because there will always be a next thing, but if you are consistently changing or chasing like what's next and what's next, and what's afterwards and what's afterwards, you'll end up at the other side. But being like, Why didn't I enjoy The last eight years of my life when I was doing really cool things, like maybe I hadn't, gone to my goal yet, but still doing really cool things, Learning the people that were around you, the experiences that you had.
[00:34:22] Jess: At the end of the day, that's what really counts, like you mentioned. But. I just feel like oftentimes as society, we're so focused on the next job, just the next thing to come. If you win an award, Oh yeah, okay, great, you won that award. what's your next move that we don't often just sit and be like, No, like I did this.
[00:34:39] Jess: This is where I am right now. These are my wins, and this moment, it doesn't always have to be about moving forward.
[00:34:46] Drea: That's become more difficult with the years because of social media, because of all the highlights. We see all the accomplishments of people that are being posted, and we have to remember that's not always the way it is, And that what you're working on, what you're doing every single day is what should be highlighted, in your own life. Jess, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Please let us know where we can find you. What's on your agenda? What are you working on? where we can
[00:35:13] Jess: support.
[00:35:14] Jess: I am on TikTok and Instagram. My handle is at Eli underscore Jess. It's like my middle name. but I'm actually, thanks to Drea and some of the conversations we've had also working on a podcast, it will not launch until 2023. so still a few months away, but. I've decided it will be called the Frequency of Joy.
circling into the fact that, Joy is not like a stagnant kind of state of mind all the time. It ebbs and flows and talking about some of those, like highest highs, some of the lowest lows and everything in between. but if you also if you are a current college student or know a college student in your life, you can find the book that I wrote and published last year.
[00:35:58] Jess: Called Spread your Wings and Fly. It's spelled f i how to effectively navigate college as a first generation low income student. And if there's ever anything, I can do to support anyone in that space in regards to college,where I went to school, what application process was like, any resources or anything.
my dms are always open, so feel free to send me a message and I will do what I can if I don't know the resource to point you at least in the right direction. But always happy to help and always a. For anyone that needs it.